It’s 2016. It’s been 6 years. And I miss her. The warmth of her embrace, the way she made me laugh, how she made me feel. Powerful, loved, excited, alive, superior. How she made me unable to feel, devoid of emotion, carefree. So complete, so wanted, so much a part of something special, so subversive, so unique.
How I miss her. I love her and put her first, she was all that mattered, all that made sense in this world. She saved me from this world, she fed my mind and taught me that I mattered and that no-one else did. She put me first and I put her first. We gave each other strength. Together we went far, I thought we would never part, united for life until death would divide us. I thought we both knew this.
Then even she betrayed me, enslaved me. She has let me down and turned on me, even then I gave her chance after chance. I trusted her again, time after time. Yet she has made me feel down so many times and I still loved her. I risked my life to have her in my life.
I’d forsaken my time, my wealth, my health for her. That was the depth of my love for her. I did not want life without her, yet she broke my heart to my near destruction. I would’ve died for her, yet she wasn’t even happy with that. She preferred to torment me, by not talking to me and live as if we didn’t love each other.
She made a painful decision, and asked me to let her go… I didn’t want it. She was certain.
Yet the truth is I’ll always miss her, she was my world for so long. She was like my personal dose of cocaine . SHE. It’s been 6 years. And it’s 2016.