LOVE: Noun o Verb

(I first posted this write-up in my Multiply account, August 4, 2009 at 10:47pm.)

Sa bawat araw na ginawa ni Papa J (Jesus), isang malaking oportunidad ang matuto ng isang bagong bagay. At nitong mga nakalipas na araw, marami akong napagtanto tungkol sa pag-ibig. Pag-ibig na naman?

Teka, nakailang blogs na ba ako about love? Weh, eh ano naman ngayon. Hindi naman siguro nakakasawang topic sa isang blog ang tungkol sa pag-ibig. Lalo na at marami sa atin ang nakaranas, kasalukuyang dumaranas at nangangarap na makaranas ng buhay pag-ibig.

Last week, I was feeling upset about the turn-out of some events na related sa buhay pag-ibig ko… (Turned out din na sobrang daming nakapuna). I really don’t wanna dig into the history of that unfortunate event pero we had some sort of a big misunderstanding sans the shouting. Away at galit, one can say that – between me and Tessa. Usually kasi, I am the type of person who is very expressive about everything, on the other hand, siya ung silent type. I have been wanting to overcome yung attitude kong ganun kasi para akong laging nauunfairan sa kanya. Na tipong “parang” laging ‘di reciprocated yung binibigay ko. Almost always reminding myself that love need not to be reciprocal, and almost always – I fail.

Dalawang araw din kaming hindi nag-usap. She was texting me but I was the one hesitant to entertain her ways of communicating. Pakiwari ko kailangan kong mag-isip. It was brain-draining thinking about a lot of things and it was heart-pounding to go back to that night we had this series of misgivings about our relationship.

Mabilis na nagflashback sa isipan ko ang maraming memories from the past 5 years, 2 months, 8 days. I found myself staring blankly and sometimes at lost. Pumasok pa sa isipan ko na –

“Paano kung di kami magkaayos? Eto na ba ang end ng “Lab istori namin ni B?”.

WAAAAAAAAH! Hindi ko kakayanin…

The experience made me (once again o nth time na to???) to realize a lot of things. Mga bagay na we have to constantly remind ourselves of… Am sharing it as a way of expressing myself… a way of reminding myself of the things I need to inculcate in my mind and heart… and maybe, just maybe, influence others in a way or two.

Space and Time.
Bigyan natin yung mga taong mahal natin ng time and space. Oras para gawin nila yung ibang bagay na gusto nila – spend some time with friends, family, self and God. At space. (Mahirap ng masabihan later on na gusto pala nilang maging maging astronaut dahil gusto nila ng space…).The relationship will grow old quickly kung lagi kayong magkasama. Napagtanto ko na importante talaga na bigyan sariling oras para mamiss ang isa’t isa, and you’ll see how she will love you more.

Babala:
Wag laging nagtetext ng mga katagang – “Wer ka?”; “Gawa mo?” (Baka mabigyan mo pa siya ng impression na possessive ka).

TWOgetherness.
As we go on with our relationship, try to discover things you both like doing and enjoy it together. Sa mga bagay naman na magkaiba ang hilig, subukang i-compliment ang isa’t isa by learning about it kahit konti lang. It isn’t necessary naman na makahiligan mo din yung mga bagay na gusto niya pero hindi rin kailangan na kontrahin mo ang mga iyon. If you love someone, yung effort nyo to at least try will go a loooooooooooooooooooong looooooooooooooooooong way to understanding each other later pag may disagreement kayo.

Magic!
Tinatawag din sa mga katagang – “Fire o Spark”. Believe in the “magic of love”, in its fire… in its spark. (weh ano naman iyon???, may nalalaman laman pang magic, aysus!) Kahit kung minsan eh walang logical na dahilan, or you find it time-taxing, o it sounds crazy sa iba – just do those sweet little things (kailangan ito friends!!) for the one you love kahit magmukha ka pang tanga, timang, eng-eng atbpng di kanais-nais na tawag sayo!. The memories will be fun to recall paglaon. Iyong mga pinaka-cheesy at corny na mga bagay ang usually pasok at patok sa puso ng mahal natin.

FIGHT!
(Pero yung walang involved na kalmutan at paliparan ng mga pinggan at baso ha…) It is healthy to fight – OO naman!!! It is one way para maaayos yung differences at natetest ang strength ng relationship. It is also another way of getting to know one person more. Iyong iba, ang tawag dito eh “test of fire”. Di mahalaga how frequent you fight. What matters is how often you patch these arguments. Mas nakakatakot kaya iyong relationship na sobrang perfect at laging masaya. (Tsaka wala naming “perfect” eh). One big fight and that’s it! And di ba mas kilig yung malambing na – “uy sori na, bati na tayo… cge na…”. Pero syempre, don’t overdo it! Nakakapagod din namang lagi na lang manuyo o magsori (sori naman at guilty ako! Ehehe). In short, choose the conflicts na papatulan!!!

Change.
Daraan sa iba’t ibang stages ang love especially pag matagal na ang isang relationship. Grow with it! 5 years I guess is long, and I want to believe na sa tagal ng panahong magkasama kami, marami na kaming realizations sa relationship namin. One essential thing I get to ascertain eh iyon bang wag magexpect na the person you met during that first encounter is that same person you are with after 2 years, 3 years, 4 o 5 pa o 6 o 7 years pa!

Kagaya ng isang estudyante, hindi na kelangan ituro sa isang Grade 6 yung lessons na natutunan na nung Grade 1.

Change will inevitably happen – pareho kayong magbabago at yung love magbabago din. Nasa sa inyo na lang kung yung “change” eh for the better or worse of your relationship. Life is about growing! Love is about nurturing!
Gratitude.
MagpaSalamat saan? Bakit? When break up comes and its time to say ba-bye, madalas “bitter” tayo. Mahirap man sabihin to (lalo na kung tayo yung nasa sitwasyon) pero dapat wag na wag pagdududahan yung love dahil lang hindi nagtagal yung relationship. There are things in life na hindi nagtatagal at hindi ibig sabihin nito na what happened isn’t real. May mga bagay lang tlga na hindi naglalast forever. Mahirap man gawin ito pero – we have to bless the parting and move on!! (oooopsss… bato-bato sa langit…) Expect liters of tears, unwanted feelings of sorrow, sleepless nights, and the pain of losing. Sabi nga —

“it’s when you hurt the worse that you love the most”.

Aba’y kung hindi ka rin lang willing masaktan, wag ka na lang din magmahal. Weh!

Balance.
Sa buhay, kailangan ng sense of balance sa lahat ng bagay. Mula sa mga ions sa katawan natin at sa pagsayaw ng rumba – ganun din sa buhay pag-ibig. Love is both holding on and letting go. Know when to fight for the person you love and when to let that person go.

As I end this piece, gusto kong iremind ng paulit ulit sa sarili ko na ang LOVE ay hindi pangngalan (hindi siya noun) kundi isang action verb o pandiwa! It’s not something you give to someone, but it’s something you have to show to someone in a sincere and unconditional way (mga pang-uri).

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